oh gracious what an issue

I'm starting to realize that not everyone is going to be best friends in the world...and not everyone is going to appreciate you or look at you with respect...

call me ignorant but I used to think that was possible.

But through the glares and tension...I started to give up on that idea.  I still respect the people who don't particularly enjoy my company...but they make it very easy for me to notice that they would much rather spend an afternoon with a dementor than with me.

There is one person in my life whom I admire very much...but they dont seem to jive the same with me.

I try my hardest to be polite and smile in their direction...but they just do not care for that or pay any attention to it at all.

I was beginning to think it was me...that I was a terrible person or I did something to offend them...(even though I could not think of a single instance that could have possibly been even misinturpreted as rude or arrogant..)

I went with that thought for what felt like a good chunk of my emotional life...but then I realized...I hadn't done anything but be myself...I hadn't done anything besides expressing my thoughts that were honest and just...

This person just cant stand me for some reason.

So...now I am trying to accept the fact that I will never be treated very well by this person...and there is probably nothing I can do about it except show love to them.

I like to think that the only opinion I care about is the Lord's...and thats what I want, but the natural man is so tricky in making me obsess over how others view me...

AND THAT HAS GOT TO STOP.