The only thing

Sometimes the only thing you can do about hard things is cry on the shower floor and watch 6 episodes of dowton abbey

IM IN BABY!

 

"Dear Claire,

 

Congratulations! We are pleased to offer you admission to Brigham Young University-Idaho.  Rich blessings and life changing opportunities await you here..."

This was my reaction when reading the email:

 

 

I AM SO HAPPY

 

P-man

This is my brother Parker. I love him so dearly

 

 

He is such a sweet boy.

He is eight years old

He also has tourettes syndrome.

 

Tourettes is a chemical issue in the brain which makes him move in ways he cant control. When you have Tourettes, you also have a very high risk of getting OCD as well, which Parker also has.

 

This little boy makes me want to be better.

He makes me want to be a better sister

 

He struggles a lot, but I have never met any one with such a beautiful spirit as his.

 

Yesterday I was able to talk to my IPS class about Parker and our experience with Tourettes and the impact it has had on our family..

When I asked Parker's permission to do this, he was so open and willing to answer any questions I might have had.

He is so cool.

I was very emotional and it was a lot harder than I thought to speak to the class.

I have not always been the most understanding of Tourettes and OCD and I am certainly not an expert as to what they do to a person.

all I know is they make things hard.

 

I cried and I was embarrassed...I had only told one person how hard it was for me that Parker had this.  I didn't think it was fair that he had to endure something so hard so young...but lucky for me this person is also in the class, and helped me get through it, weather they knew it or not.

I was very grateful I was able to share this with my IPS family. I love my brother and I want everyone to see him for how strong he is because of his situation, and not focus so much on the fact that he is different.

 

mail

I used to think I was patient...

until I applied for college.

My dear letter please come soon

A random thought...

I think

 

January

               is a very romantic sounding month

oh gracious what an issue

I'm starting to realize that not everyone is going to be best friends in the world...and not everyone is going to appreciate you or look at you with respect...

call me ignorant but I used to think that was possible.

But through the glares and tension...I started to give up on that idea.  I still respect the people who don't particularly enjoy my company...but they make it very easy for me to notice that they would much rather spend an afternoon with a dementor than with me.

There is one person in my life whom I admire very much...but they dont seem to jive the same with me.

I try my hardest to be polite and smile in their direction...but they just do not care for that or pay any attention to it at all.

I was beginning to think it was me...that I was a terrible person or I did something to offend them...(even though I could not think of a single instance that could have possibly been even misinturpreted as rude or arrogant..)

I went with that thought for what felt like a good chunk of my emotional life...but then I realized...I hadn't done anything but be myself...I hadn't done anything besides expressing my thoughts that were honest and just...

This person just cant stand me for some reason.

So...now I am trying to accept the fact that I will never be treated very well by this person...and there is probably nothing I can do about it except show love to them.

I like to think that the only opinion I care about is the Lord's...and thats what I want, but the natural man is so tricky in making me obsess over how others view me...

AND THAT HAS GOT TO STOP.